by Julie McKay
A Catholic Guide to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss: Compassionate Answers to Difficult Questions is both the book that I really needed immediately after my loss as well as the book I needed 3 years later. Reading it provided healing as well as comfort. Reading many of the sections of this book left me in tears because I finally felt seen in my grief and in my experience parenting my baby who died. I appreciate that the book did not shy away from asking the tough questions.
Abigail Jorgensen brings her experience as a loss mom herself and a bereavement doula with over a decade of experience to address these questions. Dr. Jorgensen weaves the writings of the Saints, Scripture passages, and her own stories of grief into the text as she addresses the common questions that Catholic loss parents have. She does not shy away from asking the tough questions. At the same time, she doesn’t pretend to have all the answers. The questions we loss parents have in the wake of our children’s deaths most often do not have easy answers. We wrestle with God and with the answers to these questions.
This book is a trustworthy guide to have at your side in that journey of wrestling.
The book speaks to parents who have lost a child to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss as well as those who support them. I hope priests, doulas, parish staff, NFP instructors, friends, and family read this book to grow in understanding how they can support loss families. I hope they can become better companions for the journey of grief. You don’t have to have all the right answers to accompany someone through grief. In fact, it’s not your job to fix the other person’s grief and to provide neat, tidy answers to the questions that they’re wrestling with.
It is your job to be there and listen.
However, it is also important to have a correct theological understanding related to the questions that loss parents grapple with. This book is a great guide for those looking to better support Catholic loss families and to become more grief-informed.
I hope every Catholic reads this book.
Your interactions with loss families may be brief, but you will encounter fellow Catholics who have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. It is important for all of us to have a correct understanding of the answers to these questions.
“The Creator of the entire universe reaches for us in our grief, just to hold us, to love us, and to remind us that we are not alone. Just as how a shared traumatic or important event can strengthen our relationships with other human beings, a shared experience of suffering can deepen our intimacy with God.” A Catholic Guide to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss: Compassionate Answers to Difficult Questions p. 117
You can purchase A Catholic Guide to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Ave Maria Press, and your local bookstore.